Battling the Motivation Deficit

As someone who struggles immensely with motivation, it is hard to get things done around the house. Not only do I usually prefer to body double, but I am pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD. If someone is keeping me company, I generally work well at completing tasks and chores; they do not even need to assist, as their presence is enough. But considering I am primarily alone most of the day while my husband is at work and my children are off at school, body doubling is rarely ever an option during the weekdays.

Another struggle of mine when it comes to motivation is that once I have it, I work myself too hard. Having motivation to get tasks and chores done is already hard enough that I subconsciously recognize that once I get it, I cannot stop. Because if I stop, there is a high possibility that I will lose all that motivation, and then I am stuck in deficit once again. So I push myself until my body hurts, until it is hard to breathe, until I am physically shaking and covered in sweat. Which, in turn, causes my husband to worry about me and put me in a "time-out." I have battled this vicious cycle for as long as I can remember. I either don't have the motivation, or I get it and lose it because I push myself too hard and get put in "time-out."

So, during a conversation about my activity level and recent exhaustion, my husband came up with an idea to try. Instead of me going about and getting overwhelmed with the amount of tasks and chores that need to be done, he will provide me a list to focus on in an attempt to not push me too much and keep me active for a few hours of the day. It may sound silly, and yes, to some, controlling, but it honestly makes me feel loved that he is thinking about what he could do to help me in any way. Plus, I'm not sure if it is the Brat/Dom relationship or my ADHD, but the process of being told what to get done actually seemed to give me enough motivation to do it.

He tasked me with a load of dishes and taking out the trash. While it may seem extremely simple for most people, even the smallest of tasks tends to be difficult for me. Yet, today, despite the heat and lack of prior motivation, I actually completed the tasks he gave me. This revelation actually has me hopeful for becoming productive! I still ended up shaking and sweating in the end, whether it be from the heat or an unfortunate side effect of my medications, but I actually feel accomplished.

I did become aware of a few changes that will need to be implemented going forward, as we continue testing if this will be continuously helpful or not, and I have already voiced them to him. Mainly being more detailed and clear with the tasks given, as the goal is for me to be productive without pushing myself back into a deficit. Clarity about the quality and quantity of the tasks can make this or break this. Instead of saying "a load of dishes," explicitly state to load and run the dishwasher, then put the clean dishes away. Instead of "take out trash," explicitly state specifics like what room, what area of said room, and how many bags of trash. For example: go to the kitchen, fill and take out two (2) bags of trash from on top of the counters.

This clarification can immensely help prevent me from overdoing myself and going too far. Yet, it still allows me to see progress and feel accomplished about what I have done because I completed what I was tasked with. Plus, the specifics of the tasks help prevent me from worrying if I didn't do enough. So it is a win/win!

Are you someone who struggles with motivation and getting tasks done? What has helped you fight the deficit? Let me know the next time you join the chaos!